Fire safety gone wrong

Alan and I were shamed into developing a fire escape plan for the house. It's fire safety time in 4th grade and Sage found us out--we hadn't thought about the subject since he was in 1st grade. So we did our duty and gave a wonderful lecture on all aspects of fire safety. With visions of Sage from our fire drill three years ago, I made sure I stressed that they were never to hide during a fire. (First grade Sage was found in a corner of his room hiding under a blanket as the smoke alarm chirped.)

This fire session was going very well. The boys listened attentively and performed splendidly during our fire drill. When Alan turned on the smoke alarm, the boys stuck together, felt the door before entering the hallway, and did a perfect army crawl to our meeting area at the top of the stairs. I was so proud.

After the drill we were giving more helpful tips and answering questions when Sage asked, "Mommy, I know you are not supposed to use an elevator in a fire, but how about in a zombie apocalypse--can we use an elevator then?"

I had to think about that one before I answered "Yes Sage, you may use an elevator in a zombie apocalypse." Then Shepard asked, "Mommy, can we hide under the bed if a zombie comes in our room and he is on fire." I quickly answered, "No Shepard, even if a burning zombie comes in your room, you cannot hide." Then Sage said to Shepard, "Let's go find some household items we can use as weapons when the zombies attack." Off they ran.

And that is how fire safety went horribly wrong.