A Tale of a Fateful Trip *

Alan, Sage, Shepard and I took our first vacation as a family back in August. We went to the beach for 5 days. It was an eye opening experience and these are the things we learned...

1. It is possible to over pack a station wagon
2. Realizing that becoming your parents is inevitable when we used the phrase "Do you want me to pull this car over!!"
3. A pool view room does not necessarily mean a view of the pool that you are allowed to swim in
4. Chicken nuggets are considered seafood to those 5 years and younger
5. Babies will eat sand but not their veggies
6. Peeing can be educational--demonstrated by Sage when he came up to me and said excitedly, "Mommy! When yellow pee goes into blue toilet water, it makes green!"
7. Swim diapers are not unisex--Shepard was the victim of this lesson since he had to wear pink Little Mermaid swim diapers and endure his brother taunting him with "Girl diaper! Girl diaper!"
8. No matter how hard you try, you will never catch that seagull (Shepard's lesson learned)
9. Finding out that your husband is into watersports--when he asks you to pee on his jellyfish sting
10. It is a very bad idea to say to your spouse "Look, this is my vacation." (Alan was the one who learned that lesson.)
11. Children who sleep until 8:30 a.m. at home will rise at 6:00 a.m. on vacation
12. Sex on the top of a toilet seat is not worth it---ever!
13. Parents really cannot have sex on a family vacation
14. The crack of your ass can store sand for 7 to 10 days after you vacation ends
15. Family vacations are not relaxing, but very memorable

* R.I.P. Gilligan