Thursday, June 25, 2009

Found: One selfish shrew

Here I am again, Friends, to inform you that my quest for the elusive J.Hi has ended. I have accomplished my mission. I found her. I went to her house and upon receiving no answer to my knock, I decided to wander around to the backyard. Who should I find lounging on the deck but Miss Thang herself. I confronted her and here is the transcript...

Reader: Well, well, well...if it isn't J.Hi sitting here with her feet up.

J.Hi: Reader!! Hi, how have you been?

Reader: Oh, do you really want to know?!

J.Hi: Um, sure.

Reader: In turmoil, complete and utter turmoil! I haven't been able to eat, sleep, or enjoy "I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here."

J.Hi: Oh no, Reader, why?

Reader: You have some nerve asking me that. You left without one word. It's been over a month since I've heard from you. One day you posted and then there was post, no goodbye...nothing. How could you?!

J.Hi: Reader, I'm sorry. There were just a lot of things going on--Shepard had soccer, Sage had SOL tests, then the end of school came...I had both of the boys' birthday parties to give, I was working and before I knew it--vacation. It's just been crazy.

Reader: Save it, sister!! You think you can just neglect me like that? Just go off and live your life and not blog about it? Well, you keep treating me this way and one day I won't be there. I will not be taken for granted!! I will not be ignored!!

J.Hi: Oh Reader...I...I'

Reader: WHAT?! You're so what?

J.Hi: I just feel terrible. I didn't know you would miss me. I am so, so sorry. Reader, please look at me.

Reader: no

J.Hi: Reader, take my hands and look at me. Come on, look at me...please. I have something to say.

Reader: fine

J.Hi: Dear Reader, I was wrong for leaving you that way. I am truly sorry. My life was so busy and the time just got away from me but that is no excuse. I should have posted. I should have let you know what was happening with me. I will try and do better for you. I am not perfect and I may lapse. Sometimes I may go for a while without posting but that doesn't mean I am not thinking about you. You fill a void in me that no one else can. I will never abandon you. I cherish you, Reader, and I will always, ALWAYS come back to you. Will you forgive me and give it another chance?

Will you, Reader?

Hmmm? One more chance?

Reader: What-Ever, Bitch!! Now get your lazy ass to the keyboard and start writing!!


Dr Zibbs said...


It's funny cause it's a troll.

Kel said...

It IS funny because it's a troll....

But we have missed hearing about J. Hi and the antics of Alan and the kids!

We've read and laughed at all the past blogs, waiting for updates! Even if we've only lurked and not commented... We're still here :)

Clippy Mat said...

just catching up your blog in reverse order.
you are bad.
and i mean that in a good way.