Monday, February 22, 2010

Love bites

Sage found this picture ( <------ ) on my desktop and he ran and told Alan that I was cheating on him. And then he wanted me to go on TV and apologise. Ha!! Thanks, Tiger!
This is vampire Eric from the HBO series "True Blood." I had him on my desktop for a very important topic--Vampires who are on my list. Usually I don't find vampire love very appealing. However, there have been a surge of vampire related shows that have changed my opinion. But even so, I have decided that there are only 3 vampires that I find truly luscious enough that I would cross the 'sex with the undead' line. No, Edward from "Twilight" is not one of them. He is too metro for me. I like my vampires more manly and with less lipstick. But if I was doing a werewolf list, Jacob would definitely be on it. Doggy style indeed, oooohhhh yeah baby.

Coming in at #3 on my list is Armand in "Interview with a Vampire" played by Antonio Bandares. Pre-Melanie Griffith Antonio was HOT and so was the spicy vampire he portrayed. Oh talk Latiny to me, Armand!!

#2 is Angel from the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" series. He's a vampire with a soul--oh so sensitive. He turns evil when you have sex with him so he's not much of a cuddler. I'll risk it.

And my #1 most suckable is vampire Eric from "True Blood." Can't resist the bad boys--especially when they look like this (see below.) Now if Sage had found this picture, I might have really had something to apologise for.

Bite me, baby!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Let the healing begin

For months now I have been living with this pain of betrayal. Everyday living with the reality of what he did to us so carelessly--how he was not the man I needed him to be. But that weight has been lifted, people. Tiger has finally apologized to me. I feel like I can move on now and start living my life again. How about you? Was this apology enough? Do you think now that we can all come together as a nation and start healing?

Yes, I felt he was sincere in his apology. He was definitely sorry that he got caught. Couldn't you see it in his red rimmed eyes and his poignant pauses? I am glad I have closure on this but do you know who I really feel sorry for? Those poor women he was having affairs with--yes, his mistresses. I mean how could anyone think they gave up the goods to him because he is one of the most rich and powerful athletes in the world?! Those women could never have suspected that they weren't the only lady in his life--well, except for his wife. He made them feel special by committing adultery and then they find out he was lying!! Victims, all of them!! I just hope those women get what they deserve.

Monday, February 15, 2010

GaGa Oh la la

I usually don't brag about such things but I had some !Ah-Ma-Zing! sex this past weekend. It was hot--I mean it was yeah, uh huh, oooooooooo, uh, yeah, mmmmmmmm, uh uh UH, Yeah, oh ooooo, mmmm hmmmm, yes, Yes, YEEEEES, mmmmmmm, aaaaahhhhhh HOT!

Sometimes you have to gloat a little, especially when you're married with kids and approaching 40. It was a good Valentine's day. Alan and I don't go all commercial romance like we did in our 20s. Now it's more about alone time...and candy, have to have chocolate. The kids stayed over Mamaw's house for the night and we went out to a quiet dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. After dinner we came home watched a James Bond movie, then sexy time, and bed. I'm still all giggly.

I was lucky to get it at all. Alan and I started a group exercise class with a trainer and we have both been very sore. You know it's bad when the man in the relationship says, "Maybe we should just hold each other."

I am enjoying my training class. I go in the mornings and Alan goes at night. This is the only kind of exercise that works for me--someone telling me 'do this, now do that, now do it again.' It also helps that Trainer John is very cute and muscular--makes me want to work harder to impress him. tee hee

One morning I asked Alan "Do I look ok?" He said, "Are you trying to look cute for that trainer?" I replied, "Of course I am!" He just rolls his eyes at me. But it's true, I do work harder because he's cute. In fact, one day I noticed that Trainer John had a small hole in the seam of his sweat pants right in the crotchital area. When he leaned down to hold my legs for abdominal crunches, I tried to peek each time I crunched up. Very effective.

I told Alan, "Don't worry, it's not like I want to 'get with' Trainer John. He's just like a beautiful piece of art that I want to admire." Or touch, or cuddle with...just a little. tee hee

Thursday, February 04, 2010

His spirit has been broken

It took five months but they did it...the bastards broke my 5 year old. He loved school until that day last week when he got off the bus with sad puppy dog eyes and whimpered, "I had a bad day! I got on yellow." The behavior system in class is a stoplight: green--you're good, yellow--you did one bad thing and have been warned, red--UH OH!! Shepard has always been on green. He is my rule follower, my sweet angel. I was very surprised that he ended up on yellow and tried to talk to him about it. He was too embarrassed/upset to tell me what he did so we had to play 20 questions so I could figure it out.

Did you hit someone? No
Kick someone? No
Call someone a bad name? No
Talk when the teacher was talking? No
Say something inappropriate? No

I was running out of bad actions so I asked, "So, was it something you said or something you did with your body?" He replied, "Something I did with my tongue." I was truly stumped and horrified wondering what my 5 year old could have done with his tongue that would get him in trouble. Sage asked him, "Did you lick somebody?" Shepard finally gave up the info, "No, I licked my friend's lunch box. And he went and told on me and then my teacher put me on yellow."

That afternoon I got an email from his teacher that read:

"Please remind Shepard to not put things in his mouth that are not his snack or his lunch.
Shepard really upset another classmate today when he licked the outside of the child's lunchbox.
Thank you!"

I called Alan and this is how it went:

Me: Shepard got on yellow today.

Alan: What?! What happened?

Me: He licked another child's lunch box.

Alan: **Complete silence**

Me: **Hysterical laughter**

Alan: So you're telling me that my son did an Adam Lambert on another child's lunchbox?

Me: Yes, that's what he did

Alan: And he got in trouble for this?

Me: Yes, he got a yellow

Alan: Well, if he wants to be a lunch box licker than that's his right. It's a life style choice. They just need to accept it.

Ok, I get that my child shouldn't lick someone else's lunch box. But is putting him on yellow and sending me an email about it really warranted? I don't really think I need to have a sit down discussion with him about licking lunch boxes. Anyway, it was his first licking offense. But nooooo, she had to go and ruin his love affair with school. Now he doesn't want to go anymore. Here's some advice, Teacher, if it happens again just get in his face and say, "DON'T LICK THINGS!!!" I think he would get the point. Works for me.

Did he-------------------------> just lick a lunchbox?

It's possible.