Did you hear that they renamed the Swine Flu? It's now H1N1 virus. Is it me or does that make you want to call it the Heiny Flu? Ass lovers everywhere will now be afraid for their lives. Do you love ass? Oh you do?! Well the Heiny Flu is coming for you. I hope they will be distributing some ass masks for protection. Since it is a combo of pig, bird and human germs, why don't they call it the "You will get this flu when pigs fly"virus. That would be catchy. Or how about the "You couldn't have just stayed home and drank your tequila!" flu. All good options.
I am a little surprised at all the panicking going on about this thing. I have heard so many conspiracy theories surrounding the virus I am starting to think it should be called the "Panic and wring your hand about the flu but don't pay attention to what we are doing over here" flu. And did you hear that the Egyptians ordered the slaughter of like 300,000 pigs? Crazy! Where is PETA when you need them. Shouldn't they be protesting in the streets of Cairo, stripping down and doing their nude commercials, holding up signs of bacon?! Mmmmmm, baaaaacooooon. Hey Egypt, that's a lot of freaking pork products you have on your hands there. I am willing to help you out. Just send all the bacon to me!! Thanks, Egypt.