Friday, May 01, 2009

Swine Flu, my ass!

Did you hear that they renamed the Swine Flu? It's now H1N1 virus. Is it me or does that make you want to call it the Heiny Flu? Ass lovers everywhere will now be afraid for their lives. Do you love ass? Oh you do?! Well the Heiny Flu is coming for you. I hope they will be distributing some ass masks for protection. Since it is a combo of pig, bird and human germs, why don't they call it the "You will get this flu when pigs fly"virus. That would be catchy. Or how about the "You couldn't have just stayed home and drank your tequila!" flu. All good options.

I am a little surprised at all the panicking going on about this thing. I have heard so many conspiracy theories surrounding the virus I am starting to think it should be called the "Panic and wring your hand about the flu but don't pay attention to what we are doing over here" flu. And did you hear that the Egyptians ordered the slaughter of like 300,000 pigs? Crazy! Where is PETA when you need them. Shouldn't they be protesting in the streets of Cairo, stripping down and doing their nude commercials, holding up signs of bacon?! Mmmmmm, baaaaacooooon. Hey Egypt, that's a lot of freaking pork products you have on your hands there. I am willing to help you out. Just send all the bacon to me!! Thanks, Egypt.

4 comments:

Knot said...

Did you read the rest of the CNN article on the Egyptians? When bird flu came through they ordered all birds killed. There used to be chickens in the street and pigeons. Nay, nay, no more.

And they are Muslim. Why do they have pigs? Tut, tut, mad Muslim.

Personally, I hope Hugo Chavez gets the pig squirts.

Maybe the price of my pulled pork sandwich will go down?

BeckEye said...

I wonder if this all started when Babe took that trip to the city?

C said...

hahahaha so funny, i love it. yeah, people are acting like its the plague, its just a flu, fucking A. i remember my mom had the hong kong flu when i was 15. shit happens.

C

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