Wednesday, April 01, 2009

F-F-F Foolin'

I want to thank all of you who watched my kid's kick ass talent show video. He has over 100 hits on You Tube and though that is just a blip in the big scheme of things, it is really exciting to an 8 year old. So thanks. And if you haven't watched it, then do it you heartless bastard!! (See last Wednesday's post)

Today is my HALF Birthday so you may send me half the love you normally would on my actual birthday. And wine, send wine.
The best April Fools prank I ever pulled was when I was in college. I called my older sister and told her I was in jail. I had the fake crying and everything (I was actually laughing so much it sounded like I was crying.) I never thought she would buy it because it was April Fools Day and I was not a rowdy youth. I mean seriously, I was such a good girl--never caused trouble. But she believed me and it was great. So the next year I called her up and told her I was in jail again. I thought she would laugh and say "Oh, ha ha. Yeah, I remember last year." But for some reason, she believed me again. I think that's the first time I knew my sister had some serious mental issues.

I love to prank people but I am not very creative. My idea of a good time is to hide and then jump out and scare them. That has always been fun to me. Especially when I get Alan--maybe that's why he is so jumpy. And there was one time I got Sage so good that I made him cry. I did feel bad about that especially because I peed my pants while I was laughing so hard.

The best scare I've ever done was totally an accident. It was the first year Alan and I were married and I was trying to be creative in my use of all the lingerie I had received for my wedding. One evening I put on a sexy black lacy number and closed myself in the coat closet of our apartment. My idea was that Alan would come home, open the coat closet and be pleasantly surprised when he found me all sexified. However, here's what actually happened. He came in the door, opened the coat closet door, saw me and simultaneously screamed and fell back against the wall behind him. He then slid down the wall and landed on the floor in shock. I had throw the coats aside and scramble out to check his breathing and pulse. He was kind of traumatized and there was no lovin' that night. I learned a good lesson that day. Mortal terror isn't sexy. Oops, my bad.


Cora said...

Ha ha ha! I'm now making a mental note not to startle a man while in lingerie. I would hate for him to fall and hit his head... and then have to explain the details to the paramedics.

Anonymous said...

Have I told you I like looking at women in lingerie?

Big Al said...

Let's just say that I was not in *any* way expecting someone to be in that closet... In retrospect, it would have been a fun evening had I not nearly needed CPR. :-)

C said...

that was so funny! and i do very much like to pull pranks too..


Melissa said...

it's about time someone got alan good! i can just see his face now. hahahahahaha. has sage read my email i sent him about his amazing performance?

Evelina said...

You are just so hilarious Jill! I absolutely love your writing. Keep it up. I can't wait to read more. ~Evelina

Clippy Mat said...

oh my god, i can just picture it. hilarious!