Thursday, February 05, 2009

The enemy within

The reason why I have only been posting about once per week lately is because nothing is going on here. For the past month, things have been running smoothly. Alan and I are getting along, no major extended family drama, no house issues, and--here's the weirdest part--the kids have been fairly well-behaved. So how am I supposed to get any good material with all this peacefulness and tranquility? Sheesh!

This was not the case one month ago. Sage was causing lots of problems, Shepard was copying him and I blamed Alan for all of his damn Y chromosomes. Let me explain about my darling Sage. He is what Alan's mom refers to as a "strong willed child" or, as I like to say, **"a pain in my ass." Our relationship seems to have developed in a contentious one. We are constantly butting heads. He likes his way in all things, he will argue with me just to argue, and he enjoys seeing me yell (he actually admitted this once.) Keep in mind he is only 8 and yes, you may feel sorry for me when you think about his teenage years.

Back to one month ago. Sage was worse than ever. He decided that I hated him. I apparently manifested this hate by making him learn his multiplication facts and refusing to let him wear all camo all the time. Shepard was taking his lead and one day when I was trying to get him to put on a shirt with buttons, he said to me, "You hate me, don't you?" I really wasn't getting any respect (or support) at home and I was on the verge of taking off to an undisclosed location ala Marie Osmond when she got in her car and just left her family in the name of postpartum depression. She's like my hero!! It's been 4 1/2 years, can I still claim postpartum depression? But I didn't take off, somehow I got through it. Probably because my favorite TV shows started back up and I was able to escape a bit from the hell. Jack Bauer and The Others saved my family.

Lately, I have started noticing that there haven't been as many arguments. I haven't been called 'MEAN' in quite some time. When I told Sage to pick up some clothes off of the floor he said, "OK, Mommy" instead of "Are you crazy, Woman?!" Shepard has been very affectionate and telling me he loves me all the time. And it's been weeks since I've had the overwhelming urge to kick Alan square in the nuts. What's going on here?! Do they think I am stupid?! My suspiscions are piqued. My alert is on high. I know they're plottin' on me. They think they can lull me into a sense well-being with their love and good behavior and then POUNCE!! Well, I've got my eyes on them. They don't realize who they are dealing with. I am a Mother--my eyes are always open, my mind is always made up, my rules are law, I will always suspect the worst and my guard will NEVER be down.

Domestic Terroritsts------------>
Weapons used: Hugs, kisses, agreeable
Highly Dangerous: DO NOT TURN YOUR BACK!
**Ok, you know I love my kids more than life itself. I'd take a bullet for them, I'd throw myself in front of a train for them, yada yada...WHATever!


BeckEye said...

Those kids are evil, I tellz ya! EVIL, I say!

Knot said...

If you wake up and your throat is cut let me know.
I worked at a place once that did those feel good personality retreats so we could all know how each other likes to work. One lady was strong willed. I don't get strong willed people. She said strong willed people just want to be heard. If you just listen to them rant and get it out, it usually is nothing about you. I'd give him 45 seconds to get it all out in a constructive way otherwise, tough $h!t kid, you go to time out.


C said...

hahhahaaha your boys are so frikkin cute! its a good thing or they'd be dead by now, right? hehe
i've been there. it gets better. but i agree, they COULD be plottin, hon. the 3 of them. so, when alan is asleep, rouse him just enough to get him to talk and ASK him what's up.... it may save your life! heehee


J. Hi said...

BeckEye--Tru dat, sister.

Knot--I think I have a bit of that strong will too which is probably why we butt heads so much. If they would just do what I say all the time, we'd all get along better.:)

C--That is an excellent plan. I am going to try that. ;)

Melissa said...

mom used to call alan her "strong willed child". i guess i was the weak willed child. so yeah, it comes from alan! blame him! kick him in the nuts!