Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Opthamologists: scourge of America in the 21st century

**Warning: This post may contain strong language because I am really fucking pissed.

There is a great injustice going on in this world and I am here today to expose it. If you are a contact wearer you are probably aware of this problem. But you seeing eye people most likely have no idea of the travesty of justice that befalls the visually challenged. This is an issue that affects me everyday, for you see, I am practically blind. I started wearing glasses in fourth grade for near-sightedness. After an unfortunate school picture in 6th grade, I vowed to get contacts. So I have been wearing contacts for about 26 years now. I am not sure when this happened but sometime after I was married in 1994 I found that the eye centers were refusing to sell contacts to me unless I came in for a yearly exam. Since contacts can only be ordered and purchased with a prescription, I have been forced to see an opthamologist every year for about 10 years. I ask you, is this fair?! I think NOT. I don't see them harassing the glasses wearers. They aren't confiscating glasses if you don't get a yearly eye exam. I don't see dentists taking out crowns if one doesn't have yearly dental exam. And I don't have the birth control police coming to rip out my IUD if I don't have my yearly pelvic invasion. So why pick on the contact wearers?!

I have had to put up with 10 years of diatlated pupils, puffs of air in my eyes, stupid eye technicians (or eye monkeys as I like to call them), and "what's better--1 or 2? 1 or 2? 1 or 2? how about now? 2 or 3?" The eye monkeys really irritate me. I understand it's their job to check my vision but what right do they have to look in my eyes with that light thing? In my opinion if they don't have a DR in front of their name then they should not be looking inside my fucking eyeball! About 5 years ago I had a Lasix consultation in the hope of never seeing an eye doctor again but guess what? MY FUCKING CORNEAS ARE TOO FUCKING THIN!! Yes, the only thin thing on my whole body and it has to be my corneas! JUST GREAT!!!

I have to continue having my yearly exams and play along with their contact extortion racket. Monday I had a followup exam with the eye doc. They had given me a new brand of contact since the previous brand was causing an allergic reaction to my eyeballs. The followup was to check if the new contacts were working and to give me my prescription. My appointment was 10:45. I arrived at 10:43 and sat in the waiting room until 11:40. Finally got back to the room with the eye monkey who had me read some letters and then looked in my eye!!! FUCK!! So I finally told her "I have to leave in about 10 minutes to pick up my son from preschool." She said the doctor would be in any minute. 10 minutes go by and I walk out. I see her on the way and tell her that I have to leave and could I please have my prescription. She says no because the doctor has to see me. The doctor comes out and I tell him I have to leave. He will not give me my prescription either and says, "Well, just call back for another appointment."


Just to show him I have not called back for another appointment. Yeah, that will teach him. But I need new contacts soon so I will have to go back. Do you see the injustice? Are you as angry as I am? Start a petition!! Write someone about it! March somewhere and protest! Join the cause by going to my website www.fuckalltheopthamoligistsmaytheyburninhell.shithead or www.number1isbetteryoueyemonkeypieceofshit.kissmyblackass. Help a sister out and save me from another 10 years of opthamology hell!


kimber p said...

I wear contacts too and I completely empathize with what you're raging about. It's utterly ridiculous to have to jump thru the hoops of the exam just to score a couple of boxes of contacts. How much can your vision change in one year?

My eye monkey gave me contacts this time that I literally cannot see closeup with. I'm near sighted, for God's sake. I SHOULD be able to see near objects better!! I complained about them and his explanation was that I'd given him the wrong information while doing the exam or else I needed bi-focals. Ass!!!

C said...

fuck me hard, J. i totally agree with you and kimber. there're all greedy lieing bastard communist anal licking motherfuckers if you ask me. i wear both glasses and contacts. (but not at the same time, duh) i am due to go in. it's only been 8 years since my last exam. there're gonna fuck me, i just know it. i want those bifuckingfocal contacts. they better give 'em to me. or i will run out of the office screaming "he grabbed my breast" hey j., do that. they will GIVE you whatever you want and in a hurry too. or say, "he took out his penis and asked me if 1. i could see it, OR 2. could i suck it.....


fucking eye monkeys....



Knot said...

Ummm ... why don't you just get a new doctor? And I don't think anyone wants your IUD back ... promise.

My wife is also pretty blind. When she can't wear contacts is usually when she needs a new pair of glasses. But insurance will only pay for one and not the other. I found a place that will make a $40 pair of glasses. Next time she needs an script because she can't wear contacts I'm going there.

I go every year for an exam. It's just part of it I thought. Kind of like going to the dentist twice a year. They pay for it.

Maybe Canada will take your script. My eye dr. just prints out my script and laminates it and hands it to me. No questions asked. Kind of like he's saying, "Need contacts? Go knock yourself out." I don't wear contacts btw.

You need a new doctor.


Melissa said...

rage! rage against the machine. i'm dealing with this right now as well. finally got in to see the eye doctor after they fucked up my appointment a few times, and then they send me new contacts with the old the wrong address that i had two years ago. and they're asking me to find them. stupid mother fuckers.

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