Monday, November 03, 2008

Stream of Consciousness Monday

I woke up this morning in the middle of a dream about trick or treating geese. I don't remember what their costumes were. Dammit! All the pumpkin muffins are gone. I spent all day Thursday baking for 2 Halloween parties, one Fall festival and one Pumpkin festival. I do not really enjoy cooking but I do like to bake. I was about to make cupcakes for Shepard's preschool party when I read an email from the another child's mother. She said, "I just finished making cupcakes for the party tomorrow!" Whore! I told her I was making the cupcakes! Now I had to think of another snack to send in. I sent in string cheese cut to look like a finger with a grape on the end for a fingernail. The teacher loved it. Take that cupcake whore!

Yay, I just discovered that my love for Joe Jonas is not a forbidden love. He's 19! Why is my body rejecting alcohol as I get older? You would think it would be used to it by now. Had a slight hangover on Saturday from the neighborhood Halloween party Friday night. Sage was a faceless phantom and Shepard a ninja. The kids fell asleep in our bed that night and we were too tired and buzzed to move them. I had to move them back to their room at 4:30 am because Shepard kept head butting me in his sleep. Then we had to be up early for Shepard's 8:30 am soccer game. One of the coaches kids puked on the sideline. Guess he had a rough night too. Shepard scored three goals. He seems to be really into soccer. Sage never was. He would gallop around the field like a horse or bark at the other team. He didn't really score goals but the coach always complimented him on his intimidation tactics.

I think I am a sexual psychic. Last night I had a stomachache so I told Alan it was no go. But in the middle of the night, I woke up feeling, interested. However, we have to get up so early that I didn't want to wake Alan. So I just lay there thinking those thoughts you think when all of a sudden Alan was semi-conscious and one thing led to another and--Wow! So this morning Alan said, "Did we do something last night?" And I giggled and said, "Yeah, we did!" And he giggled and I giggled again. And later I realized "I woke him up with only the power of my dirty mind. I'm like a superhero!" Giggle.

We will have years of enjoyment from Alan's Halloween costume. I am making a list of all the family members that I want to punk.

And what do you think of me? Have you ever seen a sexier Halloween costume? I am so a'peel'ing.

Happy Monday!


Anonymous said...

Please avert your sexual psychic powers in Alans way. Those powers are too strong for mere mortals.

I want a whole team of Sages on my kids soccer team. He should paint his face like the lineman for Tech.


Dr Zibbs said...

Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Get it? Also, I like your new avatar.

J. Hi said...

Knot--Sage would love that, minus the piercings.

Zibbs--Ha! I get it, that's a oldie but goodie. Thanks, I felt my avatar should reflect my true self. ;)

Big Al said...

Knot -- Her psychic super powers turn on at the strangest times... Not that I'm complaining, mind you. :-)

Besides the one incredibly awesome psychic super power she posesses, she has other notable super powers:

~ The ability to turn your brains into mush with one deadly look

~ The ability to summon gigantic waves of guilt to force the hapless victim to do her evil bidding

~ The ability to hear children (and spouses) saying rude things under their breath, even at great distances

All in all, I'd say that I doubt even the Superfriends would want to do battle against my lady... :-)

Melissa said...

alan, you forgot to say that her superpowers are even more powerful while wearing the banana costume.