Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I want to be a BIG loser!

Since the new year I have been watching shows like "The Biggest Loser" and "National Body Challenge" and I have learned something--Losing weight is hard!! But these people on the shows have inspired me. After much discussion, Alan and I have finally come up with a diet plan we think we can live with. We have decided to eat and eat until we become morbidly obese and then have the weight loss surgery. How genius is that! Seems much easier to me. Exercise--Pshaw!! Healthy eating--Feh!! They're not so important in the whole scheme of things. Let's face it, I am way to busy with saving the planet, raising my children (and the neighbors' children--it takes a village, ya know), working hard to pay my taxes, and making sure my children are winners so they have self esteem.

I am just glad I came to this realization on this day of new beginnings. Yay, Obama! I figure by the time he is good and settled into the White House I will be well on my way to the goal weight of 100 pounds--OVERweight, that is! Then The Big O can slide me a piece of that pie (and that one and that one) to pay for my weight loss surgery. Oh, I'll also need some plastic surgery to get rid of all that unwanted skin and maybe to fix the huge cavern that is my nose.

So I am off for an Inaugural Day celebration lunch at Mickey D's. Super size that, please!!


Big Al said...

I like your plan, but it's a good thing we have a king-sized bed with extra reinforcement. (Although it seems like the bed can barely take the workouts we give it now...) Can we get a Shaq-sized bed? (photo) We may just need it!

Clippy Mat said...

good luck with this excellent plan.
i smell success.

C said...

hey if it works, i will do it too. lemme know, kiddo.
i LOVE to eat.