Monday, June 16, 2008

An itchy chigger finger

This past weekend was an adventure. To celebrate the end of school for the summer, we whisked the boys away for a few days in the mountains. We stayed at a little cabin secluded in the woods complete with a babbling creek running right next to us. I am serious it actually babbled. The cabin was quite rustic and, when I say rustic, I mean without an Internet connection. I spent all weekend without the Internet, without a cell phone signal, AND without a dishwasher! No, I am not relating a nightmare I had--it actually happened.

I have never felt the need to be one with nature. Growing up I was not really exposed to to the outdoors. I've never been camping in my life. My parents were beach people, not campers. I was a Girl Scout but all I remember from that time is learning how to make a Betty Crocker box cake or fashioning lovely Christmas ornaments out of Popsicle sticks and glitter. I am not opposed to the outdoors. I love looking out of the window at it. And I love sitting on my deck sipping a frosty beverage, smelling the flowers, and watching the fireflies light up the night. But experiencing it up close and personal just doesn't come natural for me.

However, I have two boys. And because I have boys I feel a responsibility to give them an appreciation of the outdoors. I would love for them to hike and fish and explore like boys should do. So I am trying my best for them but, like I said, it doesn't come naturally. I am working my way up to full blown camping so I thought a weekend in a cabin would be a good start, to ease me into it.

It's true we did not have Internet, cell phone service or a dishwasher, but our cabin wasn't totally barbaric. We had beds, a kitchen, and a small TV with a DVD player. We cooked most of our food on the grill outside and had S'mores over the campfire. It's still not my favortie thing but it was quite peaceful and wonderful at times. And I will share what I observed...

--Maybe it's just me, or because I am an 80's child, but when I am in a secluded spot in the woods, I always look around to plot my escape route in case an insane killer wearing a freakish mask comes to kill me.

--Marshmallows are disgusting in any form.

--As a girl, if I were to explore a creek, I would hop from rock to rock, being ever so careful not to get my shoes wet or fall in. Boys are not like that. Note to self, bring more clothes next time.

--I hate bugs and they know it. I am outside trying to enjoy myself and they keeping touching me and forcing me to run screaming while flapping my arms "Leave me alone! Stop touching me! I'll kill you, you fuckers!! I will. Where's the Raid?! Some Bugger Fuckers are going to die tonight!"

--I don't know what the hell a chigger is or what it looks like, but I am absolutely sure one has taken over the 3rd toe on my left foot. It freaking itches a lot! And I think my toe is even moving by itself. There, it just twitched. I am so screwed.

--If you allow your boys to run around naked in a rainstorm, that will be the first thing they tell their grandparents about the trip. And, if they were running naked in a rainstorm because they were copying one of their parents (who was not me,) that will be the second thing they tell their grandparents.

**Interesting side note about the rainstorm...After the running naked episode, we all decided to watch the movie "Sky High." This lead to an interesting discussion about what our preferred super power would be if we could choose. Shepard chose super speed and throwing fire bombs, Sage picked shape shifting, I picked flying and getting people to do what I ask them the first time I ask them, and Alan picked X-ray vision (probably because of the boobies) and super strength. Though Sage decided that Alan's power should be super fart. HA!!

I think the most important thing I learned is when you are roughing it make sure you bring alcohol, and plenty of it!

Here I am enjoying nature and a beer. As you can see, I am not straying far from the citronella candle.

F-ing bugs!


BeckEye said...

I think the most important thing I learned is when you are roughing it make sure you bring alcohol, and plenty of it!

Oh, this works well in other situations too, not just when you're roughing it.

Knot said...

My step son got so many chiggers from camping he got an infection. They were all on his privates. Nail polish right on top of the spot will suffocated them and get rid of them.

I tried camping a couple of times. And a couple of times I proved to myself I either need an RV or a Motel 6 to rough it.


Falwless said...

You are too funny. Sounds like quite the wild little adventure!! I love the running naked in the rainstorm. Your family just sounds like so much fun, I love reading your stories. :)

fort knocks said...

My cousin taught me how to play the "running around naked in a thunderstorm" game. In college.