Sunday, July 17, 2005

No, Norman, your teeth will rot

We have tried to teach Shepard baby signs as we did with Sage. Shepard does a few signs but has seemed to go straight to talking. At this point in his little life (14 months old) he has quite a vocabulary--hi, bye bye, ball, kitty, bird, side (for outside), Daddy, Mama, and Ga (for Sage.) Of course his all time favorite word is cookie which he says in a high pitched little squeal that sounds more like "Cu-keeeee!!" The little bugger was saying 'cookie' before he even said 'Mama'--the nerve!! He asks for a cookie no less than 37 times a day--even after breakfast. He recognizes the cookies bags and boxes and even knows that I keep a few cookies in a purple snack cup in his diaper bag. The boy knows his cookies.

So what was I thinking on my recent trip to the grocery store? Things were fine at first; Shepard was sitting in the cart calmly smiling up at me as if he understood my stream of consciousness chatter about the items on our shopping list. Somewhere between the juice and the frozen food is when it happened--I turned down the cookie aisle. I was strolling along unaware when I heard the first sounds emanate from Shepard. A soft and delighted, "Cu-kee." As we rolled on the volume started to slowly escalate and the "kees" became longer and shriller. Before I knew it I was the Janet Leigh in Baby Psycho. Standing in the cookie aisle, the camera rushes to a tight shot of my horrified face. Instead of the staccato shrieks of the violin during the shower scene, it's the escalating sounds of "Cu-kee! Cu-keee! Cu-keeee! Cu-keeeee!" I frantically searched for a way out, but everywhere I turned were Oreos, NutterButters, a menagerie of Animal Crackers and the damn Keebler elf, his jolly grin, mocking me. I glanced back, but then decided to make a run for it straight ahead. All the while "Cu-keee! Cu-keee!" ringing in my ears. I raced to the end turned the corner and came to rest in the coffee section, out of breath, heart pounding, ears ringing. With eyes closed I tried to calm myself. Shepard was finally quiet. My heartbeat slowed to normal. I opened my eyes and looked down at Shepard. He reached out for me, grinned angelically and said, "Cu-kee!" (add staccato violins sounds here)

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