Wednesday, December 02, 2009

I will not be ignored!

What's with all this Tiger Woods stuff? Make no mistake, I do appreciate a juicy little gossip and this story was interesting for about 3 hours. If this happened in my neighborhood, we would be standing around whispering, "Well, all I know is that he just happened to crash his car in his driveway at 2 in the morning...and his wife just happened to be standing by with a golf club. And when the cops showed up, he just happened to have jealous wife markings all over his face. Mmmmm hmmmmm."

We would all keep a close eye on the couple for a little while to see if any more drama ensued, but after a few days of nothing, we would get back to worrying about our own life. I certainly wouldn't be knocking on their door demanding to know what happened. And I definitely wouldn't be trying to access his medical records to release to all the neighbors. Because it is really none of my business!!

I fully support Tiger's right not to say squat about this incident. If the police are going to charge him, then they should get on with it! If he was stepping out on her and if she intended to use the golf club to beat the cheater out of him--well, that's between the two of them, right?

Let me also state that I support Tiger's wife and her methods of keeping her man in check. She's my kind of lady. I firmly believe that every happy marriage needs a hint of psycho-- a touch of irrational rage, a dash of the third-degree, a pinch of stalking, an occasional threat or two (the kind where you both are giggling about it until he catches the look of steel in your eye and he stops with a gulp, wondering 'She's not she?') Men sometimes have a little difficulty with focus so I make sure I keep his eyes on the prize...Me! Alan had a pre-marriage screening of "Fatal Attraction" and he knows (because I remind him) that I abide by the motto "If I can't have you, no one will." I refuse to be one of those women who gets dumped in their 50s after raising the children and keeping the house for her husband all those years. Alan is fully aware that if tries that shit, I am prepared to take him out. (And I don't mean take out as in 'out to dinner.' I mean take out as in 'YOU GO DISCUSS YOUR NEEDS WITH SATAN AND JON GOSSELIN, YOU CHEATING CHEATER--BANG!!') So, if I have to beat the crap out of some bitches along the way or bring the 'Chris Brown' to Alan from time to time, then so be it. I am just fighting for my marriage. I do it because I love him.

If Tiger is cheating or even thinking about it, then I say he deserves a little 9 iron beat down. This woman is the mother of his children and she has put up with him hanging out on the golf course for 80% of his life. Plus look at her...
Would you cheat on that!?! Damn, she's even turning me on!!


Kathleen said...

What she said (as usual). ;)

C said...

bwahahahahahaha you are so cute and funny in your james bond ways... i'm right there wiff ya toots, if i cant have the one i love then no one will!

tiger is a piece of shit in my book. he had humble beginings, had his daddy for most of his trials and tribulations... but now with having all that money, he, like many men think he can just do what he wants whenever and with whomever.
bastard. i bet the fight was about his mistriss calling him for a hook up when the wife caught him. i wouldnt break his car windows i'd shove it up his arse.
he got off light.


Knot said...

Guy sports radio is saying that these other women knew when they bedded him they were some day going after his money. No doubt!

And every marriage needs a hottie like Elin! And yes, it is proof women you can be a hottie and still get cheated on. Why? Because you aren't taking care of your man.

J. Hi said...

Oh Knot, I've got a golf club with your name on it. ;)

Clippy Mat said...

TW is an asshole.
end of.
good post JHi.

Big Al said...

9 iron beatdown? Clearly, beating Tiger calls for a 5 iron... ;-) What a dirtbag.

melymelm said...

now it's up to what 10 mistresses? WTF?!? seriously, his wife is the hottest of the bunch. take him for all his money elin! go live in a swedish castle with your kids! alan beware!

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