Death Awaits you all...with nasty, big pointy teeth

The recent presidential primaries have made me very scared. And being scared makes me think of Halloween. So I thought I would share our family costumes from this past year. Our theme was Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Sage declared that Shepard is Brave Sir Robin and Sage wanted to be Sir Not Appearing in this Film. Alan is the Enchanter--there are some who call him...Tim? And I am the Killer Rabbit.

Ni!

Lady Psycho Sexy

I am going a bit mad. It comes with being a parent but also living with 3 males. I think that would drive anyone out of their freaking mind. What is it with boys? They are so weird. By the time they are out of the house I will be the one needing therepy, not them.

To give you some insight in my insanity, here is a list of things I have actually said or screamed this past year: (All 100% true)

--Shepard, get your hands out of your pants! And Sage, stop picking your brother's nose!
--Oh, you think I'm the worst parent in world?! Don't make me go Britney on your butt!
--Whose snot is this on the wall?
--I declare no more lick fights!
--No, you are not a Jedi Master because Jedi Masters listen to their mothers and you, sir, do not!
--Whose snot is this on the couch?
--You absolutely cannot pee behind your dresser because you are scared to go to the bathroom.
--Go back outside and get your underwear off the neighbor's lawn!
--Living with you makes me want to DIE!!!! (That one was for Alan, dear husband)

And here is my favorite: (this one I did screaming while others cried)

STOP THAT CRYING RIGHT NOW!!! YOU WILL GO TO THIS PARADE AND YOU WILL HAVE FUN!! IF I HEAR ANYMORE WHINING I WILL START BEATING SOME BUTTS BECAUSE THIS IS FAMILY TIME AND WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME RIGHT NOW!! PARADES ARE FUN!! FUN, DO YOUR HEAR ME?! FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


"Lady psycho sexy that is me, Sometimes I find I need to scream"

Breakfast Club Brats

I used to love the movie "The Breakfast Club." I loved the plot, the song and the characters. I could really relate to all the pressures of teenage life. So, I was delighted when I came across it on cable one day and looked forward to enjoying a little slice of my younger life. But, oh how the worm has turned. As I watched I was having these thoughts: "You whiny, little brats! Your parents just want the best for you and all you do is complain about them and blame them. Ungrateful wretches!"

This was the moment I realized I have changed in a profound way. I have joined the other team. I have been assimilated. I am now... AN ADULT. It was a gradual change because I did not realize it was happening. But here I am watching 'The Breakfast Club' and having a moment of self-actualization and self-loathing at the same time. I know I am way more uptight than I used to be. I am way more stressed and bitchy than I used to be. I have lost the shiny glow of optimism. I feel the weight of responsibility and sometimes I feel like it is crushing me.

Bender says, "But face it, you're a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie. What would you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better citizen?"

Is he talking to me? Is he right? Am I just an empty shell going through the motions of an adult existence? I take a moment to think about this one. And here it comes--a moment of self-clarity. I spent my entire teenage life dreaming of my future and wanting my life to begin. However, since becoming an adult, I have not once wished I could go back to my teenage life. That future I deamed of is here and though it may be hard at times, I know that it is everything that I ever wanted.

So 'The Breakfast Club' is dead to me.

Bender, you can Eat. My. Shorts.

I'm back...It ain't Britney, Bitch

I am making my triumphant return to blogging. Things got really hairy there for a while when Shepard became more mobile and Sage started school. I was drowning in life. But now I am able to peak above the surface. And, as a drowning victim who suddenly sputters back to life and vomits water over the pavement, I am ready to spew my thought all over this blog. It may not be every day or every week but I will write. I have to write or I may drift to the depths of nothingness and cease to breathe.